• sarah@healingeyes.org

Pieces of a dream lost

Pieces of a dream lost

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August 2012 our life changed forever. September 2012 we put adoption on hold for what might be infinitely. November 26, 2012 Andy lost his stomach and our life changed forever. January 2013 chemotherapy started again and won’t end until march 2013. Today we are in pieces.. Our hearts are bruised.. Our dreams fading.. Cancer survivors in the world you went thru a similar journey.. You woke up one day and screamed in horror as the diagnosis was read. You live each day of treatment feeling no end in sight. You heard others give there empty encouragement as most people don’t know what the pain is like. You know what I know, that every day is a surprise. I only am a caregiver.. I look silently from the sidelines while Andy struggles to move, to breathe, to smile. I only know the emotional pain.. Bring torn to pieces rip by rip. There is no happy without agony. There are no words that can fix… Which makes this blog pointless.

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

7 Comments so far

NotDownOrOutPosted on  3:13 am - Feb 18, 2013

So sad to read of your suffering. I know enough from having had cancer myself not to tell you the pain will go away. I’ll instead say that your writing about your experience is not useless because it may fix nothing by itself, but it is a call to others who read it to pray for you and Andy and to pray for his recovery.

exiledtykePosted on  6:02 pm - Feb 22, 2013

I’ve been both sides of the fce as my wife had cancer, I’ve recently come through chemo myself and seen my second wife lking on not knowing how to give me anything useful and not believingat just being alongside me was giving me ll I could take,so, please, don’t just take these as empty words of encouragement. Cancer is shit. It really is. There’s no way of getting away from the pain on both sides, of ignoring the fear and insecurity you all feel nor of knowing that people who haven’t been there really don’t know what to say – and yes I’ve sat in that chair myself more than once. I know when I was the patient I felt isolated and alone and the blogging community got me over that. What I didn’t realise at the time was how isolated and in need of support my wife was and f nothing else your blog serves to put you in touch with total strangers like me who do understand and who do wish you well.

I know there’s absolutely nothing that I can do for either Andy or yourself except to hope that between you the cancer is beaten into totally submission and I do hope that for you. Is your writing pointless? No, I really don’t think so. I found my blogging helped me a lot, and, I hope, it helped someone else along the way to deal with their own fears. I’m sure your blogging wil, at the very least serve to do that, although I think your passion and the elequence with which you express it will be far more useful to others than my own efforts.

Om Bekandze Bekandze
Maha Bekandze
Radza Samudgate Soha

    SarahAndyLivePosted on  8:24 pm - Feb 22, 2013

    Thank you. It is true this blog has become something else…not just updates for family and friend. But a true look into the pain and struggle that comes from cancer and other life journeys that totally suck ass. Hearing other people stories help…so I suppose as miserable as ours gets it could be what a stranger needs to hear…that they aren’t alone. Plus being a caregiver gives me little outlet to scream, so if it be by blog than so be it:)

      No`ono`o PonoPosted on  4:04 am - May 19, 2013

      I’d like to add my own current pea brain opinion for whatever it worth.. as one newly hearing the word cancer.. and having been a caregiver, blogging is wonderful scream outlet..
      and please know, your shared honest feelings do help this reader..

      Paha na Iēhowa `oe e ho`omaika`i mai, ā e mālama `oe palekana..
      May the Lord Bless You and Keep You Safe

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