• sarah@healingeyes.org

A guide to the caregiver

A guide to the caregiver

Why its hard seeing your husband suffer. A guide to the newly pronounced caregiver wife.
1. Your life will never be what you knew and the one you love will change before your eyes
2. Be prepared to watch in silence as your other self suffers and there is nothing you can do.
3. Be patient as your patience will be tested beyond imagining
4. Don’t take to heart what others say because they do not know what it truly is like in your shoes
5. Don’t think you know everything because every day, moment, emotion, is new and there is no guide to how best to behave
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself because you aren’t perfect. Realize your loved one knows that and just needs you to be you.
7. Don’t change how you are to make others happy or more comfortable. Now it’s the time for surviving and only you know what that takes
8. I won’t say stay positive because that’s empty words that mean nothing right now. Or stay strong because that is impossible. Every fiber of you is falling to pieces but that’s ok, that makes you human and more caring.
9. Give yourself space and alone time to think, breathe, cry, scream, run, whatever let’s the anger out. Otherwise it will consume you and by then it could be too late.
10. Most important thing to remember, it is a lonely path and yes you will find support in unexpected places or people but it still is ‘your’ journey and your test of true love. To admit to yourself that you love someone so much that the suffering eats away at you but at the same time you feel such anger at everything and everyone… It is normal.. But come back periodically and just be there for both of your survival.

Cancer in all its forms is here to stay. The unwanted guest that wasn’t invited. Just pack it away in a drawer and get past today and tomorrow, then rinse and repeat.

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

2 Comments so far

PeggyPosted on  6:12 pm - Mar 13, 2013

Dear Sarah,
So eloquently put. My husband and I went through this journey a year ago, but as you so well know ultimately it is a journey of two. My heart is with you and Andrew.

celicgPosted on  8:03 am - Mar 14, 2013

I was really nice to see with this kind of information, Thank you for sharing this…
Live-in Caregiver

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: