• sarah@healingeyes.org

How was your day dear

How was your day dear

Day 1 million it seems. What I wish the most for today is for Andy’s pain to stop. I want to wake up tomorrow and see him smile at me the way he used to..with pain free eyes. I want the chemo out of his body. I want his body to heal. This won’t happen over night, it will take many more nights.
Many more silent nights together where I look in and see him hunched over in his chair from his drugs. At least the drugs can give him the relief he needs desperately.

I wish to find a way to brighten his day that doesn’t sap his energy. A way to pull him back from the abyss. If I could just be strong enough a bit longer to bring him thru this.
Oohhh the adventures we could have, the fun we will have, the new normal to begin.

I will wait..gain patience as I silently watch thru my foggy window. Shadows of andy slide by and come into focus long enough to remind me don’t lose sight of our love. It’s there resting and growing stronger. Come back to me.

To anyone that sees thru my eyes for a moment..I know others walk this road. We all have different twists and bumps that make that road unique to you. Cancer is unspeakable. It literally is a topic we hide from because it is so painful for patients and caregivers. We are one in this never ending battle. People avoid you, they stumble over words to say, the will say our prayers go out to you by default but that does nothing for the moment we are in. It’s fear of saying the wrong things that make it hard to talk. No matter what or how careful anyone is there is no right thing to say.
I like honesty over fluffy words. Yup it sucks, yup still in limbo, and yup I still go to work, and yup i deal with trivial things while my husband fades in and out at home.
..and how is your day?

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

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