• sarah@healingeyes.org

Shall I have this dance

Shall I have this dance

Life after cancer does exist.

Its shape and form is different but if you squint close enough you can see the light at the end and pieces of a past life emerge. Slowly Andy is growing stronger every day, we may have set backs out of the blue one day but then the next we bounce back. It’s not all cheery celebrations after beating the odds and shoving that cancer into remission. I dare say…with a very low whisper…I think we may just be seeing hope return. She disappeared for a bit but after going back home to where we first fell in love I dare say she is creeping back in. It’s strange how Marquette holds such a strong place in my heart, it pulls be back again and again. It reminds me of new life and where I found my Andy and learned how to be independent. Perhaps to get real philosophical, going back there at this point in our recovery was therapeutic because it allowed me to find my Andy again, to remind each other how strong our love is and that nothing seems to break it. Our life is a new one, we came close to losing each other because of cancer but we’re given a second chance. So many months ago Andy held me close and begged for more time with his Sarah and now we have it! We have started new this weekend, walked thru our old college campus and stood where we first met and caught each others glance. Walked up the same mountain we did over and over and stared out at Lake Superior which always calms the senses. Then we ran across the beach to our private spot hidden on the coast line that only him and I know is ours, the pups played in the water and explored hidden smells while I once again saw my Andy, before Cancer robbed us of months of our life.

Hope is something I want to hide from, push it aside and tell it to wait a bit more. It’s hard to explain why.. perhaps with hope comes disappointment.. and that means falling again. But no I will whisper very softly that hope can come back, if only to bring a smile to Andy and to hug our puppies even closer.

We are on a being pulled up the roller coaster and daring to reach the top again.. we aren’t quite there yet, it’s a slow journey to get back on top while dealing with our new challenges in life. We have all of June and July to live it up and get our feet planted again. Two months.. two months of time on our side. We are new to this ‘living with cancer’ and the counting of days that come with it. August is looming out there and what it signifies is scarey. 1 year since it all began from diagnosis to the ‘1 year survival’ title. The next round of scans and the unknown of what may or may not show up. I can’t say we are special in this step though, most people living with cancer have to do this dance, the dance of scans and waiting.

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

1 Comment so far

NotDownOrOutPosted on  4:06 am - May 27, 2013

Wishing you new joys and celebrations.

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