• sarah@healingeyes.org



I am sitting in the atrium at saint Mary’s lacks cancer center. Trying to see what Emotions it evokes. This very bench where me and Andy sat while hooked up to an iv… little more than a year ago.
He smiled thru the pain.. We hugged thru the pain…
Now all I hear is faint classical music and the air vent. I can’t cry.. No tears will come.. How disappointing.

Just numb.

It’s not real that it’s over and he is gone. Nothing makes sense anymore. A world without him breathing and fighting in it. What a life lessen this is, what sweet sorrow this is, the silence after a death.

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Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

4 Comments so far

marcy westerlingPosted on  10:36 pm - Jan 2, 2014

I am so sorry – I didn’t realize when I posted under ‘about’ that you lost each other this past December. Damn, damn, damn.
Marcy Westerling

kdmo83Posted on  4:07 am - Jan 3, 2014

Dear Sarah
I lost my husband to cancer this Dec. 15th also. I have been following your blog the past few weeks and I probably have stated that previously. But my memory and sense of time is not that accurate right now. I started blogging the day my husband I was rediagnosed with Melonoma on Nov 8th 2013. We had such a short time left and we did not realize it. We truly thought we had a year at least or he would beat it for us to raise our son thru high school. God gave us a chance 10 years ago when they told us that he only had 6 months back in 2003. I had become cold to the fact that cancer had touched our lives and took everything for granted. My precious Jerry and our time left together. I know I should be thankful for those years and not be so devastated by his passing. Just wanted you to know there is someone out there who feels the agony and pain that you do. Thank you for your blog. It helps me in some way.

chemobrainandmorePosted on  6:49 am - Jan 3, 2014

Your right cancer does suck! My prayers are with you. Xo

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