• sarah@healingeyes.org

Wake me

Wake me

Day One of 2014 without Andy.

I see his iPod and my iPod touching sides on the computer desk … and I cry.
I eat sticky buns for the first time and I remember how he would run out to the store in the morning to buy them for me.. and I cry.
I put the remaining sticky buns in the refrigerator and realize I am alone and he won’t be here to eat the rest.. and I cry.
I list the Nintendo Wii U on Craigs list and remember how hard he tried to convince me to by Assassins Creed 3 for it because he knew I loved that game.. and I cry.

I see Miko curled up on Andy’s and Mine blanket from our wedding.. and I cry.

It’s hard watching the puppies suffer thru this with me.. they miss Andy so much. Sometimes they stare at the door hoping he comes thru it. Is it comforting to know they miss him too? or is it added pain?

Either way I hate that he is gone and I am left alone. Alone in this empty house, at night the pain creeps in worse. My angel, my soul, my love, please come back to me… but I have to wake up and realize he’s gone. I’m 33 and widowed. No this is not the beginning of a ‘new’ life but the end of a beautiful life mixed with so much pain and suffering. How can that be turned around into something worth living for.

Goodnight Andy…visit me in my dreams PLEASE.

andy1

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

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