• sarah@healingeyes.org

Night Before

Night Before

A day before I leave ‘The Island’ and many thoughts are filling my heart. I say my heart because with life we use our Mind too much when all it takes is a little faith to believe in something larger than ourselves.

What if there was a God that loves each of us so much that he had this crazy plan all along to win us back. An individually tailored plan that we aren’t allowed to know but if we just trust him the blessings would be more than imaginable. I always tend to think negative first and then positive after (based on life experience up to this point). What if that mentality was wrong?

I took a shower yesterday that lasted a minute and it was sooo thankful it was hot water. I was overjoyed about a few drops of water that were not frigid and lasted a minute long. I looked up and saw the full moon thru the window and it made the moment even more magical. At that moment I felt this amazing love fill me and I just felt Great. I took water for granted. I took heat for granted. I took everything I had for granted before coming to the island. It’s as if God sent me here for 2 weeks in order to win me back and show how much he loved me and to make me fall in love with him all over again. You know that magical feeling when your a kid and life seems simple and you trust in your parents and trust in God? But then you grow up and life’s trials and stresses take over..sometimes you have considerable pain in your life and sometimes you don’t. But somewhere along the way I lost that feeling of Trust…Our life is not our own! I have tried over and over to make it my own and to control it. I still want to…but honestly, I can’t. I’m tired and God knows that…he always wanted to take care of me but it took the death of my soulmate to make room for that. A hard road to take but if life was easy how would we learn anything and grow.

I know I can’t sum up all the ups and downs of the past weeks in a blog post. I can’t sum up a hearts pull in a blog post. All I know is that something has stirred in me that was long dead.. but God knew otherwise. Maybe there is hope for this lost soul yet even if she is only half alive. Some nights I cry and scream out for the loss felt but sometimes I just don’t think and take time to breathe. One thing for sure is around sunset the pain is overwhelming and the tears do flow but I know its not quite as dark as it could be. It’s a long road ahead when grieving and honestly it began months ago when cancer took hold. It will never go away and will always be my dark friend.

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 Making flowers with my favorite Kids! Perla, Gracie, Atisha 🙂
My heart will never be the same…a little piece was returned.

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Serving Breakfast at the Missions (yes it is mac and cheeze and chicken:) Great Food and Great Volunteers!
I love them soo much and they have really touched my heart beyond belief.

 

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

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