• sarah@healingeyes.org

I’m thinking I think too much

I’m thinking I think too much

Today we beach hopped since the rain clouds wouldn’t leave us alone. Finally we landed again at the free pool (thanks Beth!). Why didn’t we just start there? Because that’s logical and all logic leaves on this island.

As far as progress being made on deciding my length of stay on this island I haven’t really made any headway on that one. However, after paying a few bills I am starting feel the squeeze of relocating and the food budget. I have a feeling that will be the deciding factor on ‘length’ of say…of course money drives my mind still. Probably wrong to do that but old habits die hard. You can take me off the main land but you can’t take the main land mentality away, no matter how gorgeous the surroundings.

Day 4 it’s probably ok I have no clue of my plans…should give myself a break I guess. Let’s see what would Andy say…hmm well first of all he wouldn’t have gone so extreme as I did. He was so practical. He would say, ‘Eat ramen noodles until you know your financial situation’.  He loved ramen noodles in college until we ate too much and got sick off them. But during cancer his appetite returned for them, oddly enough.

Let’s see what else did I do today. I mopped my floor…that was something different. It really isn’t an exciting or glamorous life here.

Finished my night making tuna casserole at a friends (since she has a stove ) and watching mindless movies on TV. It almost felt like back when Andy and I sat around and had dinner while watching tv. Just was missing the dogs curled up by my legs.
I miss my dogs so much and my past life. Even though the ocean is beautiful I am sad thru the bone. I knew it would be hard and god was gonna break me more but my doubts are rising and that plane is looking mighty inviting. If god exists than he sure isn’t making it easy to love him with this strange part of unknown and tiny bugs that bite my ankles.

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

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