• sarah@healingeyes.org

Laid to rest

Laid to rest

To die young .. Oh what a cruel twist on expectations. I expected to grow old with Andy and to have security of love forever. It is crueler fate to leave behind a torn lover at a young age… Split between a life so vivid and a life full of lonely memories of love long gone.
Today I fulfilled my promise to Andy. 6 months after he died and was cremated I released his ashes where we first met and fell in love.

Today I immersed my heart in revisiting a town miles away where every memory stabbed me from within. Oh Andy. My Andy. I searched on the high mountain and down low by the water for you today. I looked for glimpses of your smile and laugh. I looked for your eyes shining back on me. Instead I only heard your voice saying .. “Sarah, I love you. I always will. Let me go – hold on to my heart no more and let the grief go. I want you to smile and laugh again without guilt. I forgive you. I am sorry I had to leave you. I forgive you.”

My love, if only it was possible to let you go. I cling to your life. I cling to needing you with each breathe. Please don’t leave me alone in this darkness.
Your ashes are at rest at last up high on the mountain overlooking our home long gone. What a blessing the weather was today and the moment of solitude given to us while I said goodbye. As if the clouds in heaven opened up and silenced everything around me so that I could lay you to rest.

I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God. Psalm 38:8-9,15

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

2 Comments so far

Penny LanePosted on  4:45 am - Jun 15, 2014

Beautiful as always, my heart aches for you x

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