• sarah@healingeyes.org

When you feel too small to be worth trying that’s when it’s Right

When you feel too small to be worth trying that’s when it’s Right

How do I lay the burden on others hearts that weighs so heavy on mine….I can’t. There are a little over 300 readers of this blog and with so much social media overload and photos of cats and dogs that win the ‘like’ buttons more than a photo of a sad kid in another country. It’s really stacked against me. My burden is too heavy and can’t be described in a single blog post.

So perhaps that is where diligence and perseverance take over. Repeatedly saying the same thing over and over until it slowly sinks into others hearts and perhaps over time it shows the true character and nature of this mission, non-profit, and one crazy widow.

Yesterday I talked at a church. I sat in the parking lot for 15 minutes waiting to go in and thought this is too small of a church to get all stressed out about speaking in front of. It’s not worth it. Over and over in my head I kept thinking this is silly I am stupid and this whole endeavor is just embarrassing to me. Getting in front of people and talking about crazy ideas in Africa and pulling up pain about my husband’s death and how now kids like me…all of that is just too much for me. AND I was right! It is all TOO much for me which is why its PERFECT and makes the most sense. This is where God shows his power and wipes me out of the equation. I didn’t plan a speech and I had no powerpoint for this speaking event…I was going to just go in with 3 points and then let God talk for me. Yes I am sure for all the business type people out there that is just suicidal business plan.

Point 1: Refrigerator
Point 2: Tutoring kids
Point 3: Home for neglected kids

That is what I had on my heart and then the rest was up to God to speech write. Some of you may wonder, Refrigerator? Yea that was from my previous post about how my refrigerator now has photos of kids and 2 years ago that would be unheard of.

By the end of my speech I had cried, stuttered, smiled, laughed, and thoroughly made a fool of myself…so it seemed in my little head. But then the pastors came up and decided to embarrass me more…they laid there hands on me and formed a circle and prayed over me and gave me the support and encouragement I would need to keep going. Then miraculously I didn’t pass out and I didn’t get laughed off the pulpit, instead they closed the service in prayer and that was it. It was over, I did my task and laid the burden that was on laid my heart to a group of about 20 people in a school gymnasium and then the blessings began. I now am closer to my goal of fully funded for Kenya and I got to see how it looks when you lay yourself out for others, completely vulnerable, that God will then step in and do the real work.

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