• sarah@healingeyes.org

Blurred lines between work and pleasure

Blurred lines between work and pleasure

Too often depression and sadness blinds our sight. It’s easier to concentrate on doom and gloom than seeing they joy around us. Yesterday I asked for a blessing and to expand my territory. Those of you who know from past posts that is a prayer I use cautiously. It seems whenever I use it I am blessed that very day, but only when I truly ask with a heart seeking it.

My days are blurred between what is employment and what is a vacation in this journey of mine. Too often I refuse to accept a break out of guilt of did I do enough to deserve it. Running a tiny non-profit just getting off its feet is frustrating and time consuming but without set hours I can’t tell which hours are for work and what is free time. Did I accomplish enough today to allow for fun tomorrow? Through my eyes I see little progress and insurmountable odds against me.

If I step back and list what God has done and what I have done I see progress. However, the progress wasn’t by my doing. The benefit concert coming up was my cousin’s idea after picking her brain. Or was it God using her? Next, were the 2 bands I found led to me by God or my own effort? Anyone can argue this in either direction but I can say I have no experience organizing this type of event and yet it’s happening. God saw to it that I was put with the right people who also have faith and the skills needed. Relieving me of the heavy burden.

Perhaps life is about sharing what God can do to others through a actual actions. If so then I have another example of God working his agenda through me.

I prayed for a chance to sail out to buck island while on st Croix and he arranged one for me yesterday. Once on the sailboat I sat quietly since I knew few of the people going. As we sailed off one of the ladies on the boat started talking to me and I found out she used to be an executive director for a non profit and was in charge of grants and fundraising. Early this month I have been praying for people with fundraising skills and those with a passion for helping others. He answered it through a leisurely boat ride on crystal blue water one afternoon. So was I working or enjoying free time? Will this new connection lead to more support for Healing Eyes? I have no clue as I’m not in control …God is and I’m just hanging on for the ride.

I only pray now for strength to withstand the waves of doubt and grief as the journey becomes more perilous in my eyes but clearer through His.

In a month I’ll be heading to Africa again. This time, however, I have no road map and no fellow ministry to rely on. Just a series of events leading up to the trip that have compiled a huge portfolio in God’s favor.

I’m ever a skeptic and always questioning but I still can believe in something I can’t see because it has worked out for the good so far. Why would it stop working now?:)

 

Healing Eyes
Healing Eyes

1 Comment so far

kbakePosted on  8:14 pm - Sep 8, 2015

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11.1

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