• sarah@healingeyes.org

Adopting full circle .. a memoir of the past 2 years

Adopting full circle .. a memoir of the past 2 years

Can traveling the world over bring back a loved one? Nope
Can helping others bring back a loved one? Nope
Can remembering what life was like and allowing a small smile sneak through bring back a loved one? Yup

December 15, 2015 will be the big 2 year mark for the passing of Andrew Stacilauskas and he is never far from my thoughts. This blog/website has morphed into Healing Eyes and it all started back when we were trying to adopt a domestic infant baby because all efforts to create a homemade one kept failing. I have left behind that story of pain to move on to a story of life and what a journey it has been. Back when Andy and I were trying to have a child I remember that amazing day when we were successful and I screamed out, “Andy, I’m pregnant”! Then I saw the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Andy never got to hear it but he was so happy to hear about it when I said it was so real. All the thousands of dollars had paid off. Then it all fell apart one night when I had a terrible nightmare of losing the child, I woke up scared and Andy tried to calm me. That very day we lost the baby. Andy stayed home from work and comforted me like he always did. That loss changed us.

Why do I mention this years later?

Perhaps loss in all its forms has a way of changing us and creating a new improved version of ourselves. When all is taken away you see through different eyes and the unsurmountable seems that much possible because you have nothing left to lose. I think in the bible it references losing your self to find yourself, the real person God knew all along that you could be.

Missing a husband really stinks and shopping for groceries alone really stinks. So many things about being a widow really stink. But Andy I finally am a mother…just not quite how we envisioned it to happen. So all those years ago when we started this blog/website to raise funds to adopt a child has come full circle because today I am again asking for strangers to help me ‘adopt in spirit’ hundreds of children.

I am sorry if it seems I am always asking for money but the more kids God brings me keeps raising the need and I don’t want to die knowing I could have asked one more time to recapture my dream.

The total goal of $45,000 is to purchase land and build the first school building in Eastern Uganda for a school of orphans, disabled, and impoverished children in a village surrounded by Widows. First phase is buying the land before the end of the year!

Healing Eyes, Inc. is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization based in Western Michigan. If you would like to partner with Healing Eyes on a one time or monthly basis, please make your checks payable to Healing Eyes, Inc. and mail them to 4160 Blue Heron Dr SE, Apt 302, Kentwood, MI 49512. 

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4 Comments so far

Rachael Gonzale-RubioPosted on  1:32 pm - Nov 5, 2015

Hey there! I met you at Family of Christ, I was one of the singers when you came that night to practice…I just want to encourage you! $5,000 is NOTHING for God! He owns the ‘cattle on a thousand hills’ which means that you do also, because you are His heir, a princess in the Kingdom. Your story is painful and messy, but beautiful and redemptive, which our Amazing God is All About Redemption right?! Praise God! Take courage, friend, the adventure is just beginning! I’m not sure if this is from me or from the Lord, but I feel like you should ask for more..this sounds strange sorry! But girl, some verse came to mind, Enlarge your Tents, strengthen your chords, He is doing a NEW thing! I think even bigger and greater than you can see right now. You’re gonna need more money girl. But be JOYFUL in this! Not fearful or overwhelmed. Because our God is able to do exceedingly more abundantly than we can ever ASK or IMAGINE! Who needs a miracle-working God if we can do something ourselves, right? But, THE miracle-working God, King of kings, Lord of lords has His hand All over your life. And you NEVER take your eyes off Him, not even for a second, and you and God will turn Uganda upside-down. You were CREATED for such a time as this. There are reasons for everything, I am so sorry you lost a baby, and He was right there mourning with you. But, because He works All things for good according to His Purposes, He is bringing you more children than you can count haha!! The beautiful thing about you? You did not stay stuck in the loss. You did not let it paralyze you. Don’t let anything paralyze you dear, keep running that race, girl. God has bigger things than your Healed Eyes can even see right now…that piece of land or surrounding areas needs more than just a school..and God wants to do so much through you. And I trust that God, who began a good work In (and through!) you WILL bring it to completion, in Jesus Name.

One more thing…be wise who you trust. And trust that God will show you. The key is Constant Intimate, Listening Prayer, Practicing His Presence, and using your God-given Authority in Christ. There is a small book, called God Guides, written by a 30 year Missionary to India, Mary Ghee, years ago. She was from the Reformed Church. I think if you Google this, you will find it. I Highly Recommend this for you. She did nothing on her own initiative, but always had her Quiet Times with Jesus, and He Speaks! The stories will amaze, inspire, and hopefully shape your Ministry. Because even Jesus said, I do nothing on my own initiative, but I do the Will of the Father, who sent me. God Bless you Sister!!!

    Healing EyesPosted on  3:44 pm - Nov 5, 2015

    It’s very odd you referenced Isaiah 54! That’s the verse he used before I left for the island. Sing barren woman…more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who had a husband. Very odd and encouraging I have that verse come back! I’ll do as you say I lost the full price I need to raise for one building, toilet, borehole at the school:) $45,000 for land and all to start!
    I’ll look for that book too !
    Oh I’m mailing your shirt today finally:)

      Rachael Gonzale-RubioPosted on  7:25 pm - Nov 5, 2015

      Oh that is Isaiah 54!!! That our Maker is our Husband! God Almighty is His Name! Praise the Lord!! I forgot that those all go together! (And yes, the Lord told me to say those words to you earlier, how amazing is He?!)

      Because my story is much different, I am in the middle of a divorce; I had to leave an abusive husband who was never my best friend. I was exploited and used, tormented and abused, and tricked into thinking I was worthless and better keep begging God to make me a better wife. And we have 2 small Beautiful children together and he’s trying to take custody of my babies…BUT! But, God, my Maker IS my Husband, God Almighty is His Name! He Promised that as I was leaving and every day since. Every single need of ours has been taken care of by His Provision because I don’t even have a job right now. We have lacked no good thing. And He is powerfully turning that nightmare into yet another Redemptive Testimony, because that is the kind of God we serve! He is All About Redemption! And healing. For ALL who call on His Name! Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

      Darn, I did get your email about the shirt…sorry, it has been a Very hectic week of courts, conferences, and birthdays. If you want to mail it, it’s fine, or maybe next week we could meet up somewhere and grab a cup of coffee too. Just let me know:) Blessings Sister!

      Healing EyesPosted on  8:15 pm - Nov 5, 2015

      Oops I mailed it today:). But yea cup of something is good idea. I’ll email you offline

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