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Author Archives: Healing Eyes

An angel knocked on my door with a key to my pain

Woke up…Sun shining…an Angel came to the door and gave me encouragement.

The last few days have been a bit challenging on the island but I am still kicking. When most think of an island they think vacation and sun…this is true…I am staying at a beautiful villa in the hills thanks to a gracious friend. When your only companion is an invisible friend it can get a bit lonely and the mind begins to twist thoughts in your head. The mind can be your worst enemy.

But then…and Angel came and knocked on my door with a key. A key to my worry of feeling alone….doubt…and defeat.

“I am working on your behalf…I am comforting you now so that you may comfort others suffering. It will hurt now but with each stroke of my pen I am recreating you and molding you into someone with my gift of comfort and compassion.”

Then I saw a key….to replace the other key that didn’t work. Last two nights I come home and can’t get into my place, frustrating when it’s dark and I am alone ha.

Sometimes God uses other people and events that seem random to deliver messages.

Now I don’t feel so alone and abandoned and can enjoy the sunshine and cool breeze…enjoy being wooed by my invisible friend and lulled to sleep at night.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7


Second part of the morning I saw a delightful email from a church that shared my story.. Check it out here


View outside my little villa on a golf course

View outside my little villa on a golf course

Healing Eyes

It’s not over yet

It’s not over yet

Have you ever hit your limit and feel finished? A friend sent me a link to a song called ‘It’s not over yet‘.

I listened to it after arriving at the condo I am staying at while visiting St. Croix for 2 weeks. Sometimes a song can really hit hard and sum up all the feelings inside and bring you to tears. Sometimes those tears are a great release to feel better. Sucks while you go through it but afterwards you feel a little weight off of your heart.

Wondering at what point I’ll feel less like a leaf blowing in the wind and more like a person with meaning again. If this is what everyone goes through after someone dies than I don’t know how any of us are functioning adults.

Healing Eyes

Should we ever try to make a child smile

Had a chat with one of my more colorful vocal friends on the island who has opinions on everything. It was challenging and hurtful at times what he had to say. But as always he will talk with no filter and bluntness mixed with judgment. Yet I still accept him for him as I hope others accept me for me. 

I wonder am I harming the kids here by visiting and spending time with them only to leave again. I’ll always come back because I care so deeply for them. But I also have a calling and desire to be in Africa with kids in much worse situations. To bring the love we are called to do to widows and orphans. Is a moment of joy in a child’s life worth the sadness of abandonment? Does all forms of helping hurt? Can’t acts of love and compassion be purposful even in periods of a kids life? Why should we even try if there is a risk of loss….wouldn’t that be a sadder existence if we never touched any lives even in its briefness?

Why should loss in all its forms be perceived as entirely negative. When out of great loss comes great healing if  we choose to let it happen. 

Healing Eyes

For now I wait..and enjoy time with the kids

On an island in the sun where I once lived and wandered around. Visiting for two weeks is a very odd feeling. I’ve been here 3 days and each day I’ve taken kids out for mini adventures. For someone not used to having kids all the time I am tired but content. I’m already thinking of what it will be like when I leave and head to Africa. I’m a bit scared to be honest. 

I haven’t been thinking as much about the $1000 to go yet for fundraising. I have a month to find it. Anything is possible at this point. 

I hope to write more and share photos of the kids but for now I am beat. 

Goodnight from the island 

  

Healing Eyes

I do have a purpose …. I am worth it …and Yes I am a widow and proud of it

Honesty time…I don’t have an abundance of money. Really, I don’t…it is slowly depleting and with no job and no prospects of ‘normal’ job life returning I only can continue this work by finding those out there that want to make a difference in another child’s life by partnering with me.

For example, the crafts I am bringing to St. Croix with me.. DONATED…by a dear friend and supporter since the beginning. I am so grateful for her:)

Today I am going to count each blessing and choose to get up today and say, I am worth it, and yes this kind of life can work! And Yes it’s lonely and I miss Andy but there are a lot of things to be grateful for.

I don’t have yard work to do anymore because I have no house.
I get to travel, which is annoying but if I look at it from an exotic point of view its pretty snazzy.
I’m going to see the Lighthouse kids tomorrow and that’s awesome.
I’m going to Africa in 4 weeks to live in another woman’s home and work with kids all day and perhaps be scared to death by a rat or snake during the night….that’s pretty exciting
Lastly, today I am PAMPERING myself with a 50 minute massage and I am going to enjoy every single minute!
and then…I’ll go buy some last minute craft supplies from donated money and pack my suitcase to head off to St. Croix with a smile on my face because I do have a purpose! It’s just not your typical American Dream purpose..but IT IS A PURPOSE!

Healing Eyes

Enjoying vs. Searching

Healing Eyes

When you feel too small to be worth trying that’s when it’s Right

How do I lay the burden on others hearts that weighs so heavy on mine….I can’t. There are a little over 300 readers of this blog and with so much social media overload and photos of cats and dogs that win the ‘like’ buttons more than a photo of a sad kid in another country. It’s really stacked against me. My burden is too heavy and can’t be described in a single blog post.

So perhaps that is where diligence and perseverance take over. Repeatedly saying the same thing over and over until it slowly sinks into others hearts and perhaps over time it shows the true character and nature of this mission, non-profit, and one crazy widow.

Yesterday I talked at a church. I sat in the parking lot for 15 minutes waiting to go in and thought this is too small of a church to get all stressed out about speaking in front of. It’s not worth it. Over and over in my head I kept thinking this is silly I am stupid and this whole endeavor is just embarrassing to me. Getting in front of people and talking about crazy ideas in Africa and pulling up pain about my husband’s death and how now kids like me…all of that is just too much for me. AND I was right! It is all TOO much for me which is why its PERFECT and makes the most sense. This is where God shows his power and wipes me out of the equation. I didn’t plan a speech and I had no powerpoint for this speaking event…I was going to just go in with 3 points and then let God talk for me. Yes I am sure for all the business type people out there that is just suicidal business plan.

Point 1: Refrigerator
Point 2: Tutoring kids
Point 3: Home for neglected kids

That is what I had on my heart and then the rest was up to God to speech write. Some of you may wonder, Refrigerator? Yea that was from my previous post about how my refrigerator now has photos of kids and 2 years ago that would be unheard of.

By the end of my speech I had cried, stuttered, smiled, laughed, and thoroughly made a fool of myself…so it seemed in my little head. But then the pastors came up and decided to embarrass me more…they laid there hands on me and formed a circle and prayed over me and gave me the support and encouragement I would need to keep going. Then miraculously I didn’t pass out and I didn’t get laughed off the pulpit, instead they closed the service in prayer and that was it. It was over, I did my task and laid the burden that was on laid my heart to a group of about 20 people in a school gymnasium and then the blessings began. I now am closer to my goal of fully funded for Kenya and I got to see how it looks when you lay yourself out for others, completely vulnerable, that God will then step in and do the real work.

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Donate Button with Credit CardsHealing Eyes is a 501c(3) Non-Profit Organization based in Western Michigan. If you would like to partner with us on a one time or monthly basis, please make your checks payable to Healing Eyes, Inc. and mail to 4160 Blue Heron DR SE, Apt 302, Kentwood, MI 49512. All donations are tax deductible and a statement will be mailed to you for your records. Thank you.

If you don’t have a PayPal Account Don’t Worry it’s not required  look to the bottom left side after clicking the Donate button, where it says “Don’t have a PayPal Account”.

Healing Eyes

Inspiration

Healing Eyes

Two versions of life

My life has been more abundant since letting go of a way of thinking that didn’t conform to how we are taught to think. When I stopped trying to think about how my life ‘should’ be when fit into a box that others around say it should fit into something magical happened. Take for example these two refrigerators..the one on the left is the year 2012 and the one on the right is 2015….pre-cancer and post-cancer…pre-faith and post-believing….AndySarah…Sarah.

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Asking for donations is more than just getting to the goal of $5000 by May…it’s about asking friends and family to build this new life. A life where Sarah works with kids and proves that miracles still do exist in 2015!

I never thought I would be a widow..I never thought I would have kids…I never thought I would live anywhere but Michigan. Yet! Every one of those things has happened in just over a year’s time! So when we thing God works slow, think twice because he can work super fast if we put our minds and hearts to something we believe in.

I BELIEVE IN the Verse….

“Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.


BELIEVE WITH ME!   $1345 yet to go before May

Donate Button with Credit CardsHealing Eyes is a 501c(3) Non-Profit Organization based in Western Michigan. If you would like to partner with us on a one time or monthly basis, please make your checks payable to Healing Eyes, Inc. and mail to 4160 Blue Heron DR SE, Apt 302, Kentwood, MI 49512. All donations are tax deductible and a statement will be mailed to you for your records. Thank you.

If you don’t have a PayPal Account Don’t Worry it’s not required  look to the bottom left side after clicking the Donate button, where it says “Don’t have a PayPal Account”.

Healing Eyes

Believe with caution

As I consider where I am now in life and ponder … What the crap happened … I think hmm it’s kinda my fault.

Believe That you will Receive it…and it will be yours! Did I do that? Did I actually back myself into the corner and ‘believe’ this all into existence? Crap! Why doesn’t it put a warning label in the bible versus about the power of believing and to use it with extreme caution. Now What Do I do? Follow Through and do what I believe and keep going crazy?

Now I would swear at this point..several times I wanted to add a few colorful words but than I thought, Crap, I can’t do that anymore, especially when quoting bible verses. Crap Crap Crappity Crap Crap.

Getting closer to my goal of $5,000 by May. Just got a $100 donation that puts me at….$3,655!

No I am not a typical ‘missionary’ nor do I understand why me…but excited to head to Africa again to investigate more what I believe in.


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Donate Button with Credit CardsHealing Eyes is a 501c(3) Non-Profit Organization based in Western Michigan. If you would like to partner with us on a one time or monthly basis, please make your checks payable to Healing Eyes, Inc. and mail to 4160 Blue Heron DR SE, Apt 302, Kentwood, MI 49512. All donations are tax deductible and a statement will be mailed to you for your records. Thank you.

If you don’t have a PayPal Account Don’t Worry it’s not required  look to the bottom left side after clicking the Donate button, where it says “Don’t have a PayPal Account”.

Healing Eyes