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Author Archives: Healing Eyes

What a fast response to creative ways to help out…

It happened so fast that I hardly believe it myself but I now have in my hands a Free Laptop given to me out of response to the need I blogged about only 2 hours ago. No sooner had I clicked publish, I got a message saying, “I have a laptop you can have”!

Crazy!

The laptop donated is missing a battery and the power cord is a bit frayed. Do I dare push my luck and put the request out for a laptop battery and power cord now? If anyone wanted to help out these are links to Amazon where they are quite inexpensive. It would be a huge blessing and a complete answer to Prayers for helping me help the orphans in Africa with Computer skills.

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My Answer to prayer.. This is Caitlin who offered me an old laptop she didn’t need anymore. yay!

Healing Eyes

Creative ways to help with stuff you may not want anymore..

I have a need for CREATIVE ways to help me on my Africa trip this May.

  • Inexpensive Laptop with wifi capabilities, word processing, basic graphic design software. Lightweight and not too shiny that someone would want to take it.
  • Good working printer
  • Sketch books to hand to students for teaching Graphic Design to them
  • Ukulele to have kids sing with, Only $33 on Amazon

All this is before I leave May 19th for Kenya to tutor at the Mugomari School

Healing Eyes

I go one way but then go another

Update on mission work in Africa:

As my heart has been pulled to see Billah again at that fateful waterfall in Uganda I decided to reach out to the leader of the team for this trip and see what could be done. It seems God was already at work on this one and I was just a pawn again. So fate might bring me back to Uganda for a weekend excursion while serving in Kenya this May. The details aren’t confirmed yet but it seems I will also be visiting a special needs orphan home in Eastern Uganda as well as one in Umoja Kenya. Both were added because of the little adventure across the border of Kenya and Uganda.

The Umoja Woman it seems is an all female matriarch village founded in 1990 (wikipedia). A sanctuary for homeless survivors of violence against women, and young girls running from forced marriages.

I don’t know what this all means exactly but perhaps this trip to Africa will reveal more of the bunny trail I am hopping down…follow the crumbs and let go of control…

What isn’t apparent in many bible stories of those following God’s direction is the irritating ‘waiting’ game. If patience is something to be learned and earned I must be in the worst part of it. In stories you hear of all the ‘Big’ impact moments and ‘Story defining’ parts, they leave out all the days and months of just waiting and twiddling your thumbs in boredom.

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Healing Eyes

Believe it or not miracles do exist in 2015!

Believing is a powerful tool! It can’t always create the results we seek but it sure can work when it aligns with God’s plan. I’m giving all the credit to him right now and standing back as he keeps doing the leg work for me. I used to not believe in all of this and think there was no God. How could there be when cancer exists and takes our loved ones. Or when others are blessed with babies and the American dream family. Always I looked at others and saw what I couldn’t have and when Andy died it should have been icing on the cake of disbelief. However, I survived by the shear luck of finally believing again. Crap happens and mistakes are made, the repercussions of those mistakes can be painful and life altering, death can destroy hearts, and pain can cloud everything. All I can say is believing in the impossible is really hard but the blessings that come from changing a way of thinking can be pretty awesome.

Today I got a wonderful surprise in my mailbox….a donation from my Eye Doctor. I mailed out about 25 letters last week looking for partners and support on this Africa Mission trip. Not an easy thing to do, swallowing my pride and reaching out to others and then letting God do the rest.

I doubted yesterday and today I’m back believing that I will be tutoring in Africa this May, working with orphans, and living the life God always wanted for me. A Missionary! Ok that word still sounds weird, let’s call me the Entrepreneurial Missionary instead…sounds more business like.

So I am half way there!!! and still time before this May.

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Healing Eyes

Unconventional grocery shopping

An unconventional way of grocery shopping occurred tonight. While enjoying dinner with friends and sharing my upcoming Africa plans it ended quite nicely with a pleasant grocery spree. It’s nice to experience life as it was on the island back here in Michigan. Often I relied on others to give me a handout of miscellaneous grocery goods and tonight I got to relive it again. Shopping isn’t really an enjoyable thing for me and my refrigerator is quite the ‘bachelor’ mentality. Now it has a few more items that can get me through the week:)

Thank you God for providing again in an unconventional way! and Thank you for reminding me to still have faith in this path in life and to NOT allow myself to go crazy in the quiet moments of my day while waiting for YOUR plan to unfold.

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Healing Eyes

The consistency in the Smalls make a difference

This is one of the ways a monthly donation helps with the ‘smalls’. If it wasn’t for steady contributions of one certain lady I wouldn’t be able to keep bringing fun crafts to the kids in St. Croix. Even though I am not on the island and preparing a trip to serve in Africa my heart doesn’t stray far from those girls at the Lighthouse. I can’t want to see the kids again in April and bring them these fun crafts to create together.

It starts with one or two open hearts and lots of Prayer.

Thank you Cindy for helping unfold God’s plan.

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Healing Eyes

Another car becomes a thorn in my side 

Can’t catch a break on buying cars since my husband passed away. It’s apparently clear what I thought I knew of cars is worthless. 

New car needs new starter and the dealership probably knew it when they sold it too me:(

Sigh…is this all because I decided to live by faith and do missions?  It seems I’m losing more money than I can get to even serve in Africa. 

Utterly discouraged at what I’m to do…I can’t hate the dealership since that’s not christian like … But I also can’t afford another lemon of a car. 

Help!

Healing Eyes

What if Pain brought Joy?

What’s the secret to healing from a loss so great everything else seems impossible?

What’s the secret when a memory sparks a tear?

What’s the secret to abundance?

Giving up and Believing even when others cannot..even when the pain continues…even if the pain brings joy. If you knew following the pain would lead to joy would you do it? Or would it seem illogical to go down a path of pain in order to find joy?

Some of you know pieces of my story … fragments of a past long gone. Yet that past keeps coming back and when it does the full force of that gut wrenching pain resurfaces, it stabs at my heart, it chokes off air, and brings dreams at night that I thought long gone. Perhaps it’s true that a pain so great can never be completely healed but it can be softened. Someone shared a story with me about how losing someone can leave a gaping hole in your heart and it has sharp edges all around it. Over time those edges will soften but that hole will aways remain…..Always be there as a reminder…Always incomplete and yet can turn into something beautiful. A hole that reminds of what WAS and what IS…a hole that can be as deep as the darkest pit but if we learn to control its power it can be a slight bump in the road. That’s the secret of loss…managing the hole left behind. No on else can do it for you and No one else can see the hole.

But those that Believe in faith and a God that forgives and loves even though we are made to see such horrendous things have hope for something more.

Hope that life can be beautiful amidst so much suffering.

In my mind I keep thinking…it only takes 12. It only takes the smalls to create the bigs.

Perhaps Healing Eyes is small but that could be it’s secret to success..

Ask!
Believe It!
Feel It!

Healing Eyes

March 17 lifts burdens

I read the Jesus calling book by Sarah young and I have to share from time to time.  It’s easy each day to be over burdened with guilt and pain. But God knows this and can really turn a broken life into something amazing. 

March 17

Come to me for understanding,since I know you far better than you know yourself. I comprehend you in all your complexity; no detail of your life is hidden from Me. I view you through eyes of grace, so don’t be afraid of My intimate awareness. Allow the Light of My healing Presence to shine into the deepest recesses of your being—cleansing, healing, refreshing, and renewing you. Trust Me enough to accept the full forgiveness that I offer you continually. This great gift, which cost Me My Life, is yours for all eternity. Forgiveness is at the very core of My abiding Presence. I will never leave you or forsake you.

When no one else seems to understand you, simply draw closer to Me. Rejoice in the One who understands you completely and loves you perfectly. As I fill you with My Love, you become a reservoir of love, overflowing into the lives of other people.

Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, OLord.
—Psalm 139:1–4

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
—2 Corinthians 1:21–22

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
—Joshua 1:5

Healing Eyes

I know Who I Am!

I love KIDS!!!! Yes I DO!!!!!

My husband would be flipping out right now and amazed at the transformation. Years of never having kids and trying to have kids hardened our hearts. But Now GOD has done a miracle…and I love kids! Which leads me to Missing the kids I fell in love with.

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That’s why I can’t help but run back to see them:)  No I’m not moving back to St. Croix but I sure am gonna love seeing them in a month and giving each one a huge hug! I wanted to see them before school was out and now since I am going to Africa this May I needed to push the date up.

I’m coming End of April to hug each one and embrace who God made me…how he finally used fire and pain to win be back. How he made me smile and enjoy being vulnerable around kids…feeling stupid and awkward. I don’t have kids of my own and never will but I am finally for the first time in my life COMPLETELY ok with that because more are the children of the desolate woman.

Come May of this year I’ll be with even more kids and living in poverty but at the same time feeling the most Rich I have ever felt. I will see things that will bring me to tears and break me even more for the years ahead in this ministry. I am ready for it! Bring it ON! Bring the impossible my way and show me how to build that home for neglected kids in Africa. Why NOT?! The impossible is way more possible when it’s not my idea. This week I have learned something about myself and it was through another breaking point God used on me, did it make me sad and feel hopeless.. YUP! Did it make me feel like I am not worth it and not good enough for the task? YUP! But who cares because I know that for years upon years I have felt incomplete and alone. But finally I don’t feel alone anymore! It’s finally happening.. I am becoming who I always thought I would be. A MISSIONARY!

Great song…that sums it all up!

I KNOW WHO I AM

Healing Eyes