• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: compassion

I guess this is what I am

Shut off from the outside world and now even separated from my new husband. So strange to say ‘husband’ again after losing my first husband to cancer. Yet here I am, 6 months married, back in Africa but not a widow this time. How did this all start?

A huge storm destroyed my past self and slowly over 3 years I am now a missionary in Africa? Is that what this is? Growing up I always saw missionaries as a married couple with at least 3 kids that went to live in a far away country to share about Jesus. Then what does that make me? I am married now but I am currently alone in Africa and I’m running an unthinkable business which has no profits. I have no kids and I don’t go knocking on huts sharing the news about Jesus.

Uh oh! Does that make me a failing missionary?

Perhaps God is working on a new definition of a missionary and ever so slowly revealing it before everyone’s eyes. Can a missionary be someone who goes out into the world to show the love of Jesus through actions? Sometimes it’s what we do that impacts lives more than our words. For instance here I don’t know the local language but I hope I am impacting lives by acting with love and compassion for orphans and widows. Each time I step out into the village all eyes are on me to see what I’ll do. Each time I feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of me. Bring healing to a broken community polluted with alcohol and stealing by showing a different way of behaving. Finding the local people with the same heart for orphans and empowering them to change the lives of hundreds while putting aside the hunger for money. That is something God has to do because it’s impossible for me to change hearts.

This village needs prayers. Yes it’s a cliche and sometimes overly used but when you are open enough to see that prayers can be answered it TRULY is an amazing thing to see. We have a new head teacher that I pray will help weed out those undermining the project but we need a way to pay her. How God? You gave us a talented person with the heart and now it’s our faith in You to provide. Somehow we also need funding to drill a borehole for water on the new land, as well as build toilets for the children and a permanent classroom for at least 4 classes. How?!

So this is who I am now… not a graphic designer working for a great company that provided all I needed. Not a widow lost in despair over the loss of a past love. I have beaten cancer now myself and remarried to an amazing guy with the heart for the suffering too. So this is who I am now….a survivor? No, not a survivor…but a believer in an invisible friend that some people have no use for nowadays with so much conveniences in life to give us the comforts we crave without believing.

Deep down we all feel an emptiness that we try to fill but never succeed… Can you believe in someone who believes in you? He believed in me enough to plop me in what seems like the hottest, most difficult place in Uganda. He brought me out of sorrow and confusion to a life filled with hope. He gave a barren woman children in the strangest way. Now what will He do?

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Healing Eyes

Emma is growing up

This is part of the job that makes the struggle worth it!

A little over a year ago I met Emma and his mother and to see the transformation take place in this boy’s smile and demeanor is completely God’s hand at work. This is exactly why we should take notice of the suffering half way around the world.

Emma is partially deaf and was thought to be dumb. When we met him he was sitting on the ground with kids half his age all around him in a kindergarten class. He didn’t hear well or follow the teacher and so everyone just thought he was dumb because he was different. Through the help of a friend in St. Croix we were able to move him to a school for the deaf and then just recently we moved him to a school with kids of various degrees of deafness and/or special needs and he’s really blossoming. Emma has a new sponsor now in Michigan and we are excited to see what the new school year will bring. Each update warms my heart and shows progress amidst so much struggle to move a few feet forward.

If you have been thinking of sponsoring but needed another reason to say yes I hope this can show the affect your giving can have in lives so far removed from our own. See our Kids here.

It’s overwhelming to look at the tremendous need and quantity of kids, even the painful task of choosing who is more needy then the other is daunting but I’ve learned God has a child in mind for everyone.

Sometimes that child comes into our life in strange ways but comes nevertheless.

Healing Eyes

Food for thought

Sharing the meaning of life with others..

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. Isaiah 58:10

We have faced difficulties and trials over the past few months, and yes, thought of giving up more than once. Even when the parents at Buweboya Vision Junior School tried to deceive us by not paying school fees and lying about their children being orphans we tried to seek out the children in true need. We are constantly reevaluating which children to help and sadly some of the children are being used by their parents to get their fees paid while others more needy suffer. How do we dig through the lies and deceitful behavior of the adults? Slowly…very slowly but in the end its still extremely difficult to say no to any of these kids because of the mere fact that they have very little because of the poverty in the area.

Thank you for helping the children eat today. Thank you for not turning away when asked to share your blessings with others. To Kickstart your support with a one time or monthly support ($5/$10 a month) click here

Healing Eyes

Hope and Joy

….perhaps I need to make a sign that says Pain and Suffering.

Beauty and pride….Plain and humble

….perhaps I need to learn the lessen of … KNOW IDEA.

Progress in Africa is slow but really encouraging because they are doing the work and I am not. They have the tools to clean wounds and a car to travel to the village. Maybe that is what God wants right now while Sarah heals from cancer. It just seems too darn ironic that I would get cancer when that was what started this non-profit.

Patience and pain go hand and hand. This is a blog and a business but I have to share last night I was in incredible pain all night and found no comfort until I took a few more pills. Yet we are told to pray to God for peace and relief. Where was he last night? Watching and letting me experience suffering because that is just what I have to do right now.

Right now my new husband of 5 weeks must sit back and helplessly watch me cry in pain with no power at all to fix it. What an intense stress to put on a new marriage but we are relying on God in the middle of it. He is the only one that can see past all this Pain to where the healing lies.

Healing Eyes….Letting go of the pain and seeing past it in order to allow the Healing to begin or in my case continue. So I have to put my words where my mouth is, or do as I say and not say as I do? Seeing past beauty of what I was to the beauty that is ahead and the future of the mission in Africa where when I go back I can connect more with those in physical pain. I have known the emotional side but now I will have learned another lessen of pain….both are awful and I feel such sympathy for anyone going through cancer and grief.

Let go….and find yourself.

See past the pain…is my Hope and Joy

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Healing Eyes

pain revealed

We never post the sad photos on Facebook…. Only the happy ones because seeing pain hurts.

Cancer kicked off this non profit and cancer is refreshing the pain behind it. Yet compassion is the real Heart behind it all.

I am experiencing the other side of cancer as the patient. I now feel the sadness that my first husband felt as he took pain killers to numb the physical pain. He disappeared while he was alive and hid his grieving from me until he could no more. His story was different than mine, my cancer was caught early and didn’t spread to the other organs. What scares me is the pain is similar…. Did I show him enough Grace during it all?

Compassion for those we see suffering. Even in a world where social media hides the real images of life. The real view of living is through tear strained eyes with moments of laughter. Choosing to let joy overcome the sadness.

Yea ok I lost a part of me and now I lay on my back for hours in pain but other people I know also are losing more. Losing a chance to learn that people do care and that human nature doesn’t have to stay evil from birth. To teach a child as they grow about the basics of morals and helping others.

Be the salt of the earth! Make a difference, stand out.

Show real photos of life and let others see what is hiding behind a veil of smiles.

We still have many kids who want to learn. One is deaf and we are looking for $35 a month for a year to keep him in school.

Charles my new deaf boy who I need support to place him a nearby school for the deaf in June. If you have a heart for the deaf please visit our Donate page.

Charles my new deaf boy who I need support to place him a nearby school for the deaf in June. If you have a heart for the deaf please visit our Donate page.

Another child is so smart with much potential but has no one to support him. $35 a month for a year can touch his life.

Simon Pushing the wheel barrel

Simon Pushing the wheel barrel

All the monthly donations go towards keeping the 32 kids school fees paid, feeding 32 of them, development for the new land, medicine, hiv testing…. And supporting those who keep this mission alive.

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Thank you

Sarah…. Founder

Healing Eyes

The invisible is important

What is most important is what we can’t see…the invisible

When we say goodbye to those we love by our will or God’s will then what’s most important is what we can not see. Tomorrow the sun will rise again and we won’t see that loved one smile or cry. We won’t see because of our overwhelming pain the flowers still blooming and the blue skies gleaming, yet our hearts will silently crave to see again that beauty.

When we love we experience what life was made for and why God set out to create such beauty all around us. Even if we don’t believe their is a God behind it all we can feel that invisible love all around us and find comfort that even in great pain and small losses here and there tomorrow a rose will bloom again.

In Africa right now a child is getting ready for bed on a straw mat or spot of dirt brushed clear of sticks. Even if you give them a foam mattress they will choose the hard ground because it is what they are used to. Given comfort or deprived of it a child knows little difference when it is their common routine. So right now a child is laying down for bed and may or may not rest their small head on a pillow. He or she is looking up at the stars and wondering what will tomorrow be like, sadly many are going to bed hungry and will wake in the morning to maybe some hot tea and go off to school where they will persevere all day until a few get beans and posha to last the day. If one is very unlucky he or she might try stealing a mango and get caught and caned by their own father.

What’s important in life is the invisible….we are all loved by that unseen friend and our prayers are heard by him..if only we would ask for compassion and love to truly mean something again.

Healing Eyes

What to do with this all?

Reality sets in that this is for real and the finality of it all is a heavy burden. This blog has come a long way since I started it for when my first husband and I wanted to adopt. Then it shifted to Cancer. Then it shifted to Grief. Then it shifted to a Non-Profit to help others. Now I don’t know what to make of it because I can’t quite shift it back to cancer and grief! That wouldn’t be very professional since it a website to learn about the work we are doing in Eastern Uganda.

Healing Eyes is about helping those in pain see past their pain and once they do their eyes will open and the healing can begin. It’s the meaning behind the name! We are working with a village in Uganda to set up a small school and clinic to help widows and orphans in a community. 200+ kids need help….

Now we have run into a little bump along the road and gives us a left turn back to cancer. Why? It makes no sense and yet I have to try and spin it in a positive faith based fuzzy happy feeling in order to cope. God can use all of this for his good. Ok…..why does it hurt so much to admit now I have cancer and I will never have a child of my own.

Yes, I have 200+ kids in Africa. Yes I can have surgery to remove the tumor. Yes its curable. Ok….but that’s all Science and logic speaking. Our hearts don’t work that way. The heart feels innumerable amounts of pain when diagnosed with a terrible disease like cancer. Put any words around it you like and its still Cancer.

So everyone from the first days of this blog that watched it start with hope to be dashed by death and then to be reborn again. I don’t know what to say other than its an eventful journey at least and you’ll never know what happens next.

Healing Eyes is not ending but will somehow turn all this around to show God’s handiwork and somehow see past the pain for healing to begin.

Healing Eyes

Hello Cancer…Here we go again

Suffering opens doors and answers prayers for expanding our network of people to share Healing Eyes ministry with. In life we are faced with challenges that come unexpectedly and I believe it’s these trials that amplify our weaknesses and allow God to further his agenda…when we let him. As with the founding of Healing Eyes name, looking past the pain in our lives to let the healing begin, we are faced with another challenge that will truly show God’s hand at work. Sarah (I) am facing an impactful new journey that I NEVER saw coming. Over 2 years ago I watched my husband go through cancer and eventually pass away. It was my hope that the awful ‘C’ word would be gone from my life, however, God has a different plan in mind. Cancer is back and this time it’s attacking my body.

Should I be scared? Yes the world tells me I should be. No God says Stop that.

Should I give up and concentrate on myself? Yes the world tells me I should. God says child I have you covered.

Should I question God about allowing this to happen? Sure why can’t I! God wants to hear me complain.

But…the deeper question is what NEW Opportunities is this part of the story going to open up. Its rather exciting to imagine what can happen next. By living day by day I never know what tomorrow brings and as I journey farther down cancer and experience it as the patient this time I know I’ll gain a new perspective on suffering . Just as the man ‘Job’ went through great suffering in his life I embrace the amazement that God thinks I am strong enough to take on this challenge. I mean WOW, God thinks I am actually strong enough to face this challenge and not lose faith and even continue helping my orphans and widows in Africa. When it seems to be too much for one person I know I am on the right track.

So I say, Bring it on Devil, Bring it on Cancer, Bring the suffering on and we will show you what God is made of! Healing Eyes ministry is going to grow this year in ways never imagined, we are going to IMPACT lives and heal hearts in ways God only can. I am not trying to play a Christian optimistic spin on all this but truly I am just in awe of what God can do when I pray for him to EXPAND my territory. How he chose to do that is a bit alarming but HEY who am I to question his methods. Pain really is the most POWERFUL tool to wake people up and see through Healing Eyes! Stop judging each other, stop living up to certain criteria of others, but LIVE…TRULY LIVE FOR TODAY and take each PAIN filled breathe to step out on faith and watch God work in your life today.

We need you to help our kids in eastern Uganda and We need you to understand the vision before us. It’s not through just one that we will move mountains…it takes each of us one-by-one saying Yes and joining us today. We invite you to reach out to  us and learn more in person or over the phone or even email.

Because I am just DYING to share the good news and overwhelming story happening in my life today and the need of orphans and widows dying for you to know them.

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Healing Eyes

Naked girl returned to her village

The young girl we found walking naked on the streets of Tororo is now returned to her home many miles and hours away from where we found her. It is a bittersweet story and the ending isn’t really a happy one but we had few options to choose from. We discovered she was from Mokono, which is 100 miles from where we found her walking alone.

The story if fuzzy and not all parts are verified but we believe the family didn’t want her and so they gave her to a witchdoctor who then gave some very bad advice. I’m not sure how much I should share to protect her privacy but I’ll just say she had a very difficult journey and most likely is traumatized for life from it.

We found medication for her which may or may not be the correct medicine but she isn’t violent anymore. No idea if they medicine will continue because it costs money and the family doesn’t appear to have any.

My driver who brought her home is a Godsend and got the police involved who then forced the family to take her back. Again not the best scenario but we are not equipped to handle this type of situation and right now her best option is to be back at home and I pray God watches over her. This is one of those cases where I have no idea what is the best but at the time when I saw her on the street naked the right thing to do was to save her before any other men could harm her further.

If you ever go to Africa or hear stories about it you are faced with these situations every day and you will lose sleep over what is the correct thing to do and how do you fight such evil in the world. No easy answers but one thing we should do is be compassionate to our neighbors and show love, the rest is in God’s hands…and those hands are pretty big.

Healing Eyes

Hello America..again

It’s so awesome to see how God is working and even growing Healing Eyes support family.

I am sitting here alone writing thank you notes to those who gave over the last 3 months either regularly or spontaneous one time gifts towards the mission. Some of the most amazing gifts were given while serving in Africa. By both donors and the people in Uganda we serve.

footWhile there I got sick more than half of the time but we still persevered through the trials we faced. The local people weren’t always the nicest and even cheated me a few times. The people who drink the local brew all day were oblivious to their children with numerous wounds, many wounds weeks old and highly infected.

 

 

 

meetingThe community was still indifferent to the project Pastor John was trying to do and were turning on him because they thought he was just being greedy and seeking land for himself. We pulled a community meeting together and cleared up some of the rumors going around about what I was doing there and what the project was. The project simply is to buy land, build a real primary school for orphans and disabled, build a small clinic, and build up a community of widows forgotten amidst the HIV epidemic that wiped out many families.

 

IMG_1630We also have planted the seeds for theology training with the local pastors by sitting down one hot afternoon to talk about T.U.L.I.P and Pre-destination.

 

Did we succeed? YES! the district leaders pressured a man to sell us land and to even explain to the villagers why this project will help them. The leaders pleaded to show me more kindness and to look after my safety while there. The widows met and hopefully will be starting up a small savings group to try and create their own loan network. The  kids were treated and have started to learn basic first aid. Lastly, I am over my stomach illness, ear infections, and diarrhea. Hallelujah!

landowners

 

Thank you for joining us on this story and praying for Healing Eyes and me. Please continue to follow the story as the rest of the year enfolds and I go back and forth between countries to raise money and awareness of how bad off most of the world is. Our monthly support is an encouragement when just a year ago it was about $50.

support

We still need more monthly partners as the need in Uganda grows and also, well, I need to start getting serious about how to feed myself and pay for gas and my car insurance. Eventually I will be in Uganda long term and its crucial to go with support of friends and family here to keep God’s work going over there.

Thank you again

www.healingeyes.org/support

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Healing Eyes