• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: faith walk

Can it be as easy as saying Yes

Don’t judge an event by it’s cover and never doubt that when God says DO something that he won’t follow through.

What do you think of when you hear Benefit Concert or orphans in Africa?  Lots of cliche’s I bet and also completely over done publicity on needing to help the starving in Africa. I know it’s real and I also found photos of kids starving and all the hopelessness there too overwhelming to even think I could do something. Well that was 3 years ago back when life seemed simpler.  But life can still be SIMPLE, really!  If we just take a moment to view one child who captures our hearts and then connect with a few more as we open our hearts to more we can see how plausible it is to help the helpless. Orphans are supposed to be cared for and widows should step out and take charge. Through our weakness God can shine through and do all the work.

Case in point..

Tonight I met with some awesome people about the benefit concert. Never met them before and was going on a leap of faith it would turn out beneficial and that it was the right direction for Healing Eyes. I even ordered the post card mailers with there address on it for the venue before meeting them. Leap of Faith here we go.

What happened?

Well I was shown again how small I am in the grand scheme of things and that God already had it covered. I sat back and listened to this group of professionals plan out each part of the event, down to permits and parking and even filling holes in the grass. I just had to share my passion and my story as to why I am doing all of this and sit back and let God do what he had already laid ahead of me. Silly Sarah…worrying about how impossible a concert would be. It’s all taken care of and is definitely a GO!

If you want to see miracles than just come on by Sept 19th from 6-8pm and hear some good music and listen to me share my passion again for what we found in Africa to sink our teeth into as a non-profit. It really is amazing and so not me behind it all.

I’m just a little widow who gave it all up to find my first love again after my life was taken away…finding it amidst one small girl by a waterfall and hundreds of orphans luring me back home.

Go To Whoa a Benefit Concert  to order your ticket and sit front row to a miracle in the making

Healing Eyes

The consistency in the Smalls make a difference

This is one of the ways a monthly donation helps with the ‘smalls’. If it wasn’t for steady contributions of one certain lady I wouldn’t be able to keep bringing fun crafts to the kids in St. Croix. Even though I am not on the island and preparing a trip to serve in Africa my heart doesn’t stray far from those girls at the Lighthouse. I can’t want to see the kids again in April and bring them these fun crafts to create together.

It starts with one or two open hearts and lots of Prayer.

Thank you Cindy for helping unfold God’s plan.

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Healing Eyes

Choices in grief

Life is full of choices and decisions to live. Those who have experienced great loss can choose to live in that past or be bound by the chains of grief. There are times when those chains serve a purpose, forcing us to face the evil face of grief and cry those tears loss. Then there are times to accept what loss has done to us and be strong. When our strength fails it’s time to rely on other people, let go of our pride and humble ourselves before others and show our vulnerabilities.

Today I experienced all of those feelings and by the end I went so dark into the pit of despair that I feared I would suffocate. But then I took the life line God was throwing at me, he forced me to see my weakness and do something I stubbornly fight against. I reached out to other people for help, I cried out in my pain for a ear to listen to the guilt I carry. God knew my burden was too much for this frail heart to take and he sent me angels today. So many voices today gave me hope and insight into the web of guilt I have choked on. I have learned that in my solitude I am twisting my thoughts into a tiny little prison of guilt. For a moment I broke free in talking to others and seeking help from my therapist. I am weak, I know many think I am strong for flipping my life upside down but I am so frail.

My most precious moment today was when on my second day helping at the Boys and Girls club I saw this look in the kids eyes as they opened up to me. It was madness all around, me and 15 kids with severe A.D.D., and I was teaching them. ‘Miss Sarah, Miss Sarah, help me with this or can I go to the bathroom, I’m thirsty, help me next, help me’. It’s hot and the mosquitos are hungry and I have these 3rd and 4th graders looking to me for guidance. At that moment I wished I could clone myself because I am darting here and there trying to help each kid, frustrated when I had to leave the behaved ones to read on their own. One boy who was working so hard on his homework, quietly, comes to me for help a couple times but each time another kid interrupts. My heart! My heart aches! Why for so many years did Andy and me hide from children, why did we harden our hearts? Kids surrounded me today and I saw how hungry they were for knowledge. They are so far behind in comprehending words and I am just making up ideas on the fly to reach them. The staff today even saw me use discipline and assertiveness to keep the kids attention, I got a thumbs up from one of the teachers. I got on bended knee with one boy in the library and explained how important it is to understand what he reads and not just race through a book. He looked at me, he looked at me with an eagerness to try!

Assembly at Boys and Girls Club

Assembly at Boys and Girls Club

I think of Andy and I smile because he has to be laughing his ass off at this. Me of all people, working with children and adults, instead of hiding behind a computer in an office. Oh Andy, I wish you were here to change with me, that your heart could be healed like this. Andy you would have made a great father. Perhaps you got your wish and are in heaven taking care of little Hope.

Angel Fruit Cake, Andy's Favorite

Angel Fruit Cake, Andy’s Favorite

Healing Eyes

Experience felt at the Mechanics

I dropped my Jeep off at the mechanic to get the gaskets replaced and the first thing that made me smile and cringe at the same time was the smell of the Auto Shop. The grease, exhaust, tires, tools, and engines all brought back a comforting memory. Me and Andy working in the garage together on our Toyota Mr2, the smells are what bring back memories of times long past. Pre-cancer we could work on cars and play on windy tracks, that all changed after the stomach came out and his strength was lost.
The song on the radio when I first started the jeep was, Follow me..everything is alright. Ironic?

I am trying to follow but I am so sad when the sun sets.
When the sun exits and the moon rises
The ghosts of yesterday return
No more hugs
No more talks
He is gone and does not miss me
He is at peace while I am not
What a cruel twist of fate.

I can find some comfort I suppose in my spontaneous page flipping to these versus that were directed towards my heart in the midst of crying. A few people have compared my journey to the ‘Refiner’s fire’, I am being molded by fire that burns to the touch, it consumes every part in order to produce a diamond.

Isaiah 33:14
…Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning? Those who walk in righteously and speak what is right…

To await that day when the light will finally break and dawn brings that blessed healing of grief’s despair.

Isaiah 58:8
Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear..

To experience once more a peaceful night once that sun sets over the horizon. No more is it a darkness that enfolds me but a light so bright as if sunset refused to obey.

Isaiah 30:26
The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.

To hope once more that the choices made will bring about change in the heart, healing of the memories long gone, and hope to try each day for an abundant life.
It’s yet to be seen if hope will survive amidst so much loss all around. I see glimmers of it in the eyes of children, thru their frustration with being little and never being heard, as if there size means they aren’t more in tuned with the feelings of the heart. Are we not have a childlike mentality and to trust fully the Father, at what point in our life did that get lost? What evil robbed that innate gift from us and how can we get it back if fear clouds us from action.

Job 11:17
Life will be brighter than morning. You will be secure, because there is hope..

Healing Eyes
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