• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: give

Fundraising Goal a bit more God size

My post from yesterday launching the new Goal for Fundraising generated a blessing of a comment. As a result I am fixing my typo of $5,000 and upping it to the $45,000 I knew was needed for Phase 1 of Building a school.

I’m not sure if this is from me or from the Lord, but I feel like you should ask for more..this sounds strange sorry! But girl, some verse came to mind, Enlarge your Tents, strengthen your chords, He is doing a NEW thing! I think even bigger and greater than you can see right now. You’re gonna need more money girl. But be JOYFUL in this! Not fearful or overwhelmed.

After Andy died I flipped my bible open to Isaiah 54 which talked about a barren woman being blessed with children. This spurred hope in me and has continued to this day. Now a person I’ve met only once comments on my blog about ‘Enlarging my tent, strengthening my cords’, straight from that same verse.

So Bring it on! Let’s see what a mustard seed of faith can do and move a mountain. I bet before December 11 when I fly back to Uganda God can get at least the $5,000 raised.

Healing Eyes clear Goal:

  • 1 building with 4 classrooms
  • Toilets (4 latrines)
  • 1 Borehole
  • 2 acres of land


Healing Eyes, Inc. is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization based in Western Michigan.

Donate Button with Credit Cards

Thank you. If you don’t have a PayPal Account Don’t Worry it’s not required  look to the bottom left side after clicking the Donate button, where it says “Don’t have a PayPal Account”.

Or Save me the PayPal fees and send check made out to: 
Healing Eyes, Inc. and mail them to 4160 Blue Heron Dr SE, Apt 302, Kentwood, MI 49512. 

Healing Eyes

I woke up in a sweat last night from a terrible nightmare. Andy was in the hospital and I went to find him but I couldn’t, no one knew where he was. So i insisted he was in ICU and that was where I left him. Finally he magically appeared. Sadly he looked awful…his head was tilted up and he had a oxygen mask on. His eyes were wet from tears and his face was contorted oddly. He had wires hooked up all over him and was was groaning in pain. The smell of the hospital was all over me, suffocating me in my sleep, a smell of hospital gowns and chlorine. The lights were bright and he was in a room with several other patients.. it felt so humiliating seeing Andy stripped down to nothing as if he was just a number in a line of sick hospital beds.

I held his hand tightly and cried, “I love you! I love you!”. Andy replied saying he loved me too, over and over we said these words. I told him please don’t go.. please don’t leave me..please stay.. over and over I begged him. He was laying on his side and crying with me crying over his shoulder. The nurse came in and prepared some pain drugs, it was a very large cocktail and I asked lots of questions about why so much and what they were. One of the drugs was a hippopotamus tranquilizer (why I don’t know).

Slowly the nurse pushed the drugs into his IV and Andy convulsed and slowly calmed down. Slowly he drifted off and his eyes died all over again. Over and over I see his eyes die in my dreams. At one point he crawled out of his bed and had no arms or legs. The nurse quickly scooped him up as if he was a baby and slammed him back in the bed. She yelled at me saying you have to keep him in that bed otherwise his IV lines will come out. I stared at Andy and cried, screamed for him to stay, Don’t leave me!!!

Then I woke up!

Back to reality of where I was. In a room in someone else’s bed wondering why am I here. Why the hell am I here? I am miles away from the familiar and alone in my bed. Andy is not there to comfort me after a nightmare…he can’t hold me or stroke my hair. Nevermore will he be and nevermore will I hear his voice. You can’t just erase 13 years of companionship, it stays with you like a ghost in the room. Quietly sleeping in my shadow until something stirs it and it suffocates me with its misery.

Sleep Andy.. and haunt my dreams no more. Speak softly to me with encouragement but please take those hospital memories away! Your agony and feeling of desperation of doing nothing to save you. I was helpless to save you. I failed you as a caretaker…that feeling of guilt will never go. I know it’s normal to feel this way but others out there must know they aren’t alone! There has to be a way to have peace about watching someone die and being helpless to stop it.

 

Healing Eyes
1