• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: job

Are Dreams real or just fragments of a subconscious…

I had a dream and a vision the other night, if you believe in that sort of thing. My late husband was with me and he told me, “he wasn’t in pain and he was ok, that he had our baby with him and she was oh so beautiful”. He went on to say, “Don’t give up Sarah, It is quite beautiful here and someday we will hug again but for now you have live even though I am dead”. “I am ok”.

Then there a bunch of british soldiers storming a castle I think and some gun fire and then I think a monster and then a ton of kids running towards me. No idea what that means! HA!

We also talked a bit about his last days of cancer and how he changed and that I couldn’t handle that Andy…that the disease had taken over his brain, he said, “He understood and he didn’t like how he felt either and that he loved me still and I loved him still.”

So are Dreams Real or just fragments of a subconscious we ignore?

Beats me but I sure didn’t want to wake up after dreams like that where Andy and I were us again. Where he comforts me and tells me to remember just the good memories and to let the cancer memories fade. He encouraged me to remember specific happy memories and then another and another until I peacefully fell asleep. Then he kept at me in my dreams to tell me he was ok. So I believe dreams are more than dreams…

Now then did I get my miracle to keep on track with Africa?

Well I sure can’t say no to Andy urging me on! I really can’t say no to God saying Don’t Give Up either. So I am in a pickle.

I need employment of some kind for the downtimes and that will be ok with me going off to Africa for 6 weeks. Does that even exist?

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Healing Eyes

Too small to go on at this pace…I need a miracle

What’s difficult about having a blog that spells out my plans while also not being sure about my plans 100% is the transparency I try to keep to my followers and supporters.

Bit of a speed bump hit on Africa trip this May. Why? Well I am feeling a sense of need to get a job/career back in Michigan and occupy my days with some actual tangible evidence of my existence. By returning to Michigan I had hoped to work on rebuilding my life even still after losing my husband and to do this its becoming apparently clear I need to work. Preferably I would like to work back at my previous employer since it felt like a family. Now that I have lost that family I feel a part is missing on top of not having Andy anymore.

Healing Eyes is a non-profit business…True! But with no income and no steady work to keep me alive. I am a person who can’t sit still and needs another occupation to create a wholeness. I have Graphic Design Experience, Leadership, Business, Cross-Cultural Teams, Project Management, geeze I started a Non-Profit out of nothing, that has to be some level of accomplishment……..now how do I use that and also go to Africa for 6 weeks and still get a job? Or do I choose?

I want a career again and it feels more important than ever that I have to seek it out…  so…. now what….

This is where I am too small to answer these unknowns and doubts..  This is where God needs to step in and I need a butt-load of prayer! Perhaps that is how God shows his power and my ultimate weakness? Perhaps this is where my mistakes and regrets can either kick me in the butt or prove to be not mistakes…I don’t know..but I do know I need to reclaim a Career and somehow see where the pieces lay.

So I am applying for jobs again…Updated Resume…Job Searching…and I’ll let the universe decide where I fall 🙂

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