• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: orphans

Faith appearedĀ 

I met a Girl named faith when first arriving. The name was pretty and I didn’t put it together in my head as to why it struck me. Until later in the day after sitting through a long ceremony on a hard chair did I see why God put the word ‘faith’ in front of me. He was trying to tell me have faith Sarah even if you feel tired frustrated and sick. 

I’ve been concerned about land and purpose and needing answers I wasn’t prepared for this next bread crumb. 

A man I met my first day here who was giving the land to the ministry I’ve been serving with while here decided to seek me out. Now understand my first meeting with him I was jet lagged. Now this second interaction I was feeling ill and drained from the day too. Perhaps God wants to step in when I am at my weakest to show off. 

The reason why this man found me sitting alone was because I wasn’t playing soccer with the others and the kids were occupied elsewhere. So the moment was just right. He asked me again what I was wanting to do in Africa. I stuttered and eventually spit out the insane idea I had. Then I basically admitted I’m clueless and have no idea how to accomplish this. 

He has connections with locals and other organizations and his non profit aims to Connect others and give help where needed to orphans and widows. 

If I had been with the kids I would’ve have not talked to him. The meeting was arranged by God. 

His passion is to help educate families about how to have healthy babies and also preventing young girls from getting pregnant. He also tries to help widows find ways to support themselves and there children. Perhaps some of what he said was just to hook me but I can’t deny a lot of it seemed too aligned with what I’m trying to find. I can’t deny God had a hand in this meeting. 

Top it all off and he knew about the waterfall In Uganda and has ways to inquire about the need there and available land.

My eyes were on land but it seems it’s being redirected towards a possible relationship with this other organization that came out of nowhere. 

Healing Eyes

A gimme gimme mentality

I am sickened by what I see in the future generations here. The damage done by white people coming in and giving freebies to the children over the years has created damaged relationships. Even if the gifts were given with good intentions the consequences of those actions has caused severe harm to the self esteem of future generations. 

How can children grow up to be successful when they see themselves as helpless and poor. Only deserving of handouts. What hurts more is that I am in a way aiding in this continued mentality of relying on white people to fix there situation for the better. 

I am sickened by my own heritage. Embarrassed by those who came before me. 

When the Mazungoo drive in with there good intentions of helping others the locals wave and greet with smiling faces. It’s as if we are celebrities when In truth it is broken and entirely messed up. We get puffed up egos by being welcomed so easily and leave feeling important. They are looking to the wrong source for help. It’s only within that change can happen. Confidence , self esteem, and reliance on there own abilities and talents to succeed. We are interfering with that opportunity by our presence in matters beyond our reach. Locals must see locals creating change and not a van full of Mazungoos coming and going while smiling and waving. 

All that said I still love these kids and see potential if only the Mazungoos would stop giving freebies in the wrong situations. Think hard first about what that handout will do to the future of the kids ability to rely on themselves. 

Healing Eyes

Can fear drive faith?

I would like everyone to take a moment of silence and see life through a different lens for 5 minutes. If you were told to just blindly trust something you can’t see in hopes that you would still eat and have shelter but you didn’t know how, would you feel comfortable doing that? Would it be easy to just say ‘ok’ and have no anxiety or fear about it? What if you had under two months to get a large sum of money together in order to spend time with orphans suffering in a far off land? But you believed it was possible and knew up until the final hour you would be provided for….(periodically you would freak out and run but generally speaking you would hold steady).

Today I just saw it come true…the promise was kept…and I have nothing to worry about in regards to finances for this mission because the Post Carrier just dropped off the final miracle on my final day to get the money all together. I drove to one church and found a check placed under a rock and then I came home and saw the postal carrier depositing the other check in my mailbox earlier than expected. So YES, I now truly have the entire funds needed and promised to me back when I decided to Believe it’s possible and Asked for help from others.

A friend asked me today, “Wouldn’t it seem like it should get easier the more you go?” “Yet it seems it only gets bigger and scarier the more you decide to follow”. Why is that?

I might be wrong but I think it is because…

If we don’t fear relinquishing control how can we grow perseverance.
If we never fear than wouldn’t it be too easy to give things up for God. And then how would we grow in trust?
If we are supposed to turn over anxiety and fear to God then how can we if we don’t have it to begin with?
If it gets easier the more we trust than how can we learn from suffering, if we never feel it because we numbly go along trusting God because we know he knows best. But then later we can reflect and learn and grow from knowing why we were afraid at the time but that then allows us to connect with each other in the common fear of fear.
Those who don’t believe in Gods love will think us dumb sheep who do what the master says to do and hence think we are stupid. When they are hurting and think they must be alone since Christians make it look so fake and unreal because they think we are without worry and real fear.
Even if we do as the ‘boss’ says to do but show our weakness of fear than we are in effect showing to others we are too weak and can’t do it alone. But since we show it we than prove Gods message to rely on him even when we are weak and scared. Be scared but still go!! Because that’s how he proves the plan all along.
If I ever lose fear and tears when going I might start to think I’m in control and don’t need God because it’s no big deal each time I go.
Kind of like a catch 22! Give fear over but still requires to show it?
Healing Eyes