• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: st croix

Here goes…everything

What if the only thing holding us back from making a change is just not knowing how? Or thinking it has to take a lot to make a difference! But it’s not that complicated. Support someone at your church or find an organization to help…cancer research always needs help.

or…if you like reading about my journey and seeing what happens next you can play a part in the story 🙂

I am back on my island after a week of closure and painful goodbyes to a life I once knew. Perhaps I am back here to appreciate the ‘little’ again. Either way I didn’t want to wake up this morning and try to be happy but a knock on my door forced me out into the world.

Today I went to get my jeep and Stephan introduced me to some Jeep guys on the island that give tours to tourists. I ran into Dwayne and asked How he was and he said fine and I said fine. And then… he said the oddest thing.. ‘hmm Not really fine but does it really matter?’  Man he is so right! We all say ‘I’m fine’ but really its just a blow off to the person asking and the person asking sighs a huge relief when they don’t really have to care. Keep on going on with our own lives and forget that maybe that person is hurting.

On my way home I broke down and stopped at the grocery story to buy some provisions:

  1. 1 loaf of bread
  2. lettuce
  3. red pepper
  4. dressing
  5. 1 gallon of water
    = $20.94

bread, lettuce, dressing, pepper

bread, lettuce, dressing, pepper

Receipt

I am appreciating my simple tuna salad sandwhich and green leaf lettuce salad. I have lost it all and trying to find a new way to live.

Is this what you would call a ‘Faith Walk’ ?

I am going to be a Full time Entrepreneur Missionary to help those who are, well, In Need! Is it maybe just that simple?!

Shall I label this a ‘mission from God’ ?  Nah! It’s more of a mission to bring back relationships and bring back faith in each other to do good even when it seems impossible. If God sent me here for that than that’s OK by me. If I have to swallow my pride and humility to get others to support that cause than I’ll do it! I’ll throw myself out there and ask for Support…ask for others to join in this movement to just HELP people and save lives in the process.

It just takes one small step of faith and Going.

So here I am God…try and prove to me how this works and I’ll give it my all. If you can’t prove faith to me than good luck proving it to others cuz I am stubborn.


 

What do I need?

Food – ~ $50 a week

Water – $.60 a gallon = ~$5 a week

Rent = $800 a month

Gas = $30 a week = $120 a month

In Mid July I leave my paying ‘job’ and lose my benefits and steady paycheck. Let’s see what God can do to keep me going as long as he wants to use me for his ‘job’.


 

What can you do?

I’ll take references to churches/organizations, individuals, friends, friends of friends, anyone that wants to support the homeless and children of St. Croix thru my shattered life. Donations are always welcome (yes even $5 makes a difference…I mean that gives me water to drink:)

What will Sarah really be doing on an island? and how do I get personal updates…?

Easy I am setting up an email subscriber list thru mailchimp that will allow you to stay up to date with the mission. I’ll just need to collect Supporters names and email addresses to make it official.


 
Donate Button with Credit Cards

 

 

Healing Eyes

Old Lighthouse Hike

I write to speak for the broken hearted.

I write to share the pain of those who lose heart.

I write to soothe my soul.

This morning started early with a hike up to the old lighthouse on the other side of my island. It took forever to get there. One thing to learn is that things seem to take longer than you think on this island of only 27 miles in length. If you live in the states and enjoy all of those straight roads and endless smooth concrete than you can’t understand how it can take an hour to get to the other side of a small island in the ocean. It was early and we had already missed our chance to see the sunrise over the ocean but we still journeyed on. For some strange reason we ran into a traffic jam in the rainforest. I have only experienced one other traffic jam on this island and it was where you would expect it, by buildings and street lights. It was very odd that at 6am we ran into several sloooow moving vehicles in the rainforest.  For some reason they didn’t like the potholes and slowed and swerved for each one. Now my friend who was driving usually doesn’t bother with the formality of slowing for a huge crater in the road, why bother when the roads are essentially made up of a series of holes that once was a concrete path.

The hike up to the lighthouse was steep and picturesque, complete with spider webs and hermit crabs. Oh and some really gross looking slug creatures. Once we arrived the sun was up already and hiding behind a cloud. A very ominous cloud floating above the ocean. The sun was stubborn though and reflected on the waves below the cloud and it was a sight to see! We climbed the tall tower and sat on top of the world watching the splendor before us. It only seemed fitting to play the song I had played at Andy’s funeral, Amazing Grace ‘My chains are gone’.

Andy’s chains are gone! His body is free and his pain is gone. God took it away in the end when he finally believed. In his last hour of life he believed and his chains were gone, he was set free, his God and Savior rescued him. His mercy overwhelmed Andy and he took his final breaths of peace…

This earth is temporary. The sun is fleeting and the clouds are many. But God is calling to end the pain of this earth. Last night I fell asleep, alone, listening to Amazing Grace, a song I have avoided for some time because it makes me cry. I walked behind his coffin with a flower in my hand and Amazing Grace played. I took one final look at Andy and slipped the tiny purple iris into his coffin and said Goodbye.  Last night I faced that song head on and cried out to the lyrics while listening to the wave crash outside…I must have eventually fallen asleep. A night with no scarey nightmares of Andy suffering over and over in my head, a night with no dreams in fact.

 

 

Healing Eyes

Cost is High

 

 

The juxtaposition of beauty — Palm trees and roaring waves in contrast to the high cost of living it.

Sticker SHOCK today as I went to get a few groceries to get by with… I spent $30 on 9 items, the grapes are what did me over as they cost about $5! The cereal box was $6 but I figured it has fiber and I need that. If I can eek by on minimal food but with some nutrients I might survive. Yes the ramen noodles are definitely NOT healthy but it is food and it will be easy to make since I don’t have a stove.

If I go back in a month than I’ll at least go back with a deep appreciation for the abundance of food State Side. If I survive long enough that is! I am cheap about food and I am lazy about food so this is going to be interesting. Let’s take bets on how long I last when I crave a Snickers bar.

Aside from the cost of food… I am still breathing, “barely”.

Day 1 almost done and I want to go home. Not gonna lie..I want to go home. I miss my dogs, I miss cooler weather, I miss my pathetic apartment, I miss friends and family, I miss Andy.  The last one I can’t really do anything about though but I still miss him. A year ago he was alive and we had a house and he was on the upswing (kinda).

Day 2… Let’s see what happens …

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Healing Eyes
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