• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: starting over

How to keep going…

The Kids

Another month almost done and once again I wonder how long I am supposed to be on this island and doing what I am doing. It is really hard seeing how it will work when I am paying my bills with faith. I can’t let myself be led by money…I did that before in old job. This time I want to be led by my heart. The boys and girls club today was challenging as always and very hot. The structure is still very chaotic there and most of the time the kids are in charge. I wasn’t feeling very well but I dragged myself in and come homework time I pulled up a chair and just sat in the middle of the room. Different tactic this time a passive aggressive (mainly out of the fact I was hurting and needed to sit down) teaching style might work. At first it appeared to work, I sat in the chair and did the clapping technique to get the kids to repeat the pattern I clapped which then got there mouths to shut. The kids would come to me for help so I could not get up and down. In theory it worked but after awhile with all the other older kids coming in and out of the room it fell apart. On the upside one of the parents came in and told his kid to listen to me, that was a great feeling to see my efforts did matter. The dad said to let him know whenever his son misbehaved.

It all feels hopeless by the end of the day. The kids have incomplete sentences, spelling, math issues, and A.D.D. on self inflicted sugar comas. One little girl I think is dyslexic and she’s a sweety but then her mother called afterwards and yelled at the director since she said we didn’t help her child with homework. Sigh…endless battles it seems are to come.

It’s hard only being at that club 2 days a week since the rules I enforce aren’t consistent with other when I am not there so the kids are confused and the staff are frustrated. Sadly, I am so little amongst all those kids and I look like a pushover. Which I don’t quite get since I think I am putting a pretty serious face on. Strangely even though this club is so stressful I love it there more than Lighthouse. Perhaps its the challenge I get from the chaos or that some of the kids I have gotten to love from summer camp.

There was one boy who used to be well behaved but sadly I think he is trying out the ‘misbehaving’ method to get attention. I had to suspend him from the computer lab for the week for playing games. All those kids know the rules but they push it…funny enough when they see me in the lab they know they shouldn’t play games and vacate fast. I asked the boy later that afternoon why he was misbehaving when he used to be so good, I told him it made me sad to see him try and get attention that way and that he shouldn’t reach to those methods to get attention. I even tried telling him he’s a good boy and I don’t like punishing him when I know he better than that.


Showtime back in Michigan .. Watch

This Sunday I was blessed to have my story shared at a church in Michigan, a friend took some photos while in the congregation. Who knows what is next but I will have faith somehow I’ll eat each day and have a roof over my head. It takes time to grow.

Biggest needs are prayer for perseverance, and networking with churches to raise support to walk along with these children.


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