• sarah@healingeyes.org

Tag Archives: worry

Awake in bed with anxiety

Been awake since 3:30am from a stupid cold. Of all things! From staph infections in my ears to bacteria/parasite in my stomach and now beaten by a stupidĀ cold!

I’m laying awake with worry after worry about money and how in the world i’ll keep this non profit going when I am in Michigan. How will I pay for my driver to stay in my house and keep working with the pastor here. How will I feed him? How will I keep mending the wounded children I keep finding. What if I am not here and another child gets an infection and then losesĀ there leg from that infection because no adults here will have knowledge to get them a simple bandaid! The cost for public transport is too much to take a child to the hospital and even at the hospital if your not aggressive in demanding treatment people are just turned away, they don’t know they can fight back and demand service. However, when the said Government hospital doesn’t even keep medicine on hand to treat patients how can anyone even survive. I know I can’t fix all these issues and its one child at a time but I still lay awake with worry.

The money seems to just be evaporating in petrol to go to the village and hospitals. My meager food budget is wearing on me and all this stupid living expenses for myself are draining. So many people are relying on me for answers and I have none. The joke is on them because they think I have money! ha! If they only knew it was day by day I am dependent on you my readers and followers at churches and anonymous donors to keep this whole project afloat.

and so I lay awake! with a runny nose and pounding headache after just getting over stomach issues. What’s next? The bubonic plague? At this point I wouldn’t be surprised by some outbreak in a rare disease and I catch it. Never have I been sick so much within 2 months.

Top this all off how will I find help for the missing naked girl I found on the street? The hospital she is in now just sedates her from running away in stead of getting a doctor to see her! I admitted her on a holiday and now still no doctor has seen her!!!! Seriously! How can anyone expect to get medical help here?! Plus I have to try and find someone each day to feed her because nurses don’t do that type of work, instead nurses just wonder around and do nothing. I pray the person who is just there taking care of her aunt will be honest with the money I gave her to buy small bits of food for my patient while I can’t be there.

This is all sounding rather complainy I’m sure so I’ll end on a good note. My widow Agatha has a new roof thanks to you! and a burn on her hand I pray is healing with basic first aid I am trying to do but I have no idea if I am doing it right but it’s better than nothing. I am fearful of getting a disease myself when I treat these wounds but I use gloves so I should be covered…they look at me with awe when I pull out tape and ointment!

housefixed2 housefixed

Agate the widow whose roof was blown away had a large wound from a fire a week ago. She wasn't going to have me do it because she needs to farm but I insisted.

Agate the widow whose roof was blown away had a large wound from a fire a week ago. She wasn’t going to have me do it because she needs to farm but I insisted.

Healing Eyes

An angel knocked on my door with a key to my pain

Woke up…Sun shining…an Angel came to the door and gave me encouragement.

The last few days have been a bit challenging on the island but I am still kicking. When most think of an island they think vacation and sun…this is true…I am staying at a beautiful villa in the hills thanks to a gracious friend. When your only companion is an invisible friend it can get a bit lonely and the mind begins to twist thoughts in your head. The mind can be your worst enemy.

But then…and Angel came and knocked on my door with a key. A key to my worry of feeling alone….doubt…and defeat.

“I am working on your behalf…I am comforting you now so that you may comfort others suffering. It will hurt now but with each stroke of my pen I am recreating you and molding you into someone with my gift of comfort and compassion.”

Then I saw a key….to replace the other key that didn’t work. Last two nights I come home and can’t get into my place, frustrating when it’s dark and I am alone ha.

Sometimes God uses other people and events that seem random to deliver messages.

Now I don’t feel so alone and abandoned and can enjoy the sunshine and cool breeze…enjoy being wooed by my invisible friend and lulled to sleep at night.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Second part of the morning I saw a delightful email from a church that shared my story.. Check it out here

View outside my little villa on a golf course

View outside my little villa on a golf course

Healing Eyes